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Opinion: Mark Eadie: Conquering the five stages of baldness BALDY. Slaphead. Egghead. Kojak. Just some of the less-than-imaginative insults my eight-year-old self and merry band of urchins dished out with aplomb at the ice cream man Franco. Now, I've never claimed to have been the brightest kid on the block, but ridiculing our main source of choc ices and caramel wafers because of his lack of follicle fecundity wasn't the smartest move. But Franco gave as good as he got. Indeed the “colourful” language he used in response to our daily abuse did introduce us to a world of vocabulary that none of us even knew existed.


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